Updated: Mar 23
By Shayler Richmond
I find greater happiness and a deeper understanding of balance through my experiences and self reflection.
Having just graduated, and still being depressed but not as depressed as I was, I wanted to start this reflection by saying I got back to me this summer, and mean it, like when Stella got her groove back, to create a narrative that I at one point had it all together, but I never did; every step forward is new to me. I'm in a constant state of learning and growing; I don't want to be who I've been or go where I've been, this is living.
My last year of college took a toll on me.
Through relationships and situations my experience as a young adult has been trial and error. Too often I've dug my own holes in a world where Black men already start off with less, so it's no coincidence that I've learned how to manage despite the tides of life being rocky.
I’ve always been floundering; sometimes I’m one with the current, sometimes it’s working against me; sometimes I’m floating on top of the water and sometimes I’m beneath. It is through recognizing and respecting the flow of life that I've been able to become more one with the flow.
I’ll always have the desire to be in control because I want a say in my circumstances, though that isn't a privilege I'm often afforded; I still try to control as much as I can, but I’m finding a balance.
I’m understanding that the universe is moving with or without me, so I have to find where I fit within it. It’s freeing. It’s redeeming. It’s liberating.
I'm choosing to surround myself with people that actively support me and help me to see the best in myself and world around me. I'm connecting with people that have pure intentions and bring geunine joy.
I'm not running toward happiness; I'm working toward purpose.